


Wicked Liars

by TheLastShadow



Series: Facing Death [9]
Category: Norse Religion & Lore, Supernatural, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crossdressing, Forced Marriage, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 05:03:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4166982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLastShadow/pseuds/TheLastShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little bit of fun gets out of hand but then again what else would you expect?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wicked Liars

**Author's Note:**

> After writing this I’m very tempted ~~but would prefer someone else~~ to write a crossover with Loki and Gabriel going into the universe of The Road to El Dorado. It’d be hilarious if they found it while Tulio and Miguel are still there and use their magic/Grace to make the citizens believe the Spaniards are gods and then actually appear during the jaguar statue fight scene to beat Tzekel-Kan and everyone’s like “whaaa???”
> 
> OR
> 
> Where they find the city after Chel, Miguel, and Tulio have already left so the people there are like “oh, hey, more ‘gods’” and are pretty chill about their ‘magic’ because Miguel and Tulio were pretty convincing gods and they’re not going to fall for it again.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~You know what I’ll probably do both anyway.~~

The god grumbles, “It’ll never work.”

Gabriel waves him away with a smile and draws closer to Mjolnir. He reaches out to push it but it stays firmly in place. He frowns, thinking for a moment, before grinning. 

Loki asks in annoyance, “Are you even listening? I said we need someone of _worth_.”

The archangel flies back to Loki, arms wrapping around the tricksters shoulders in mischievous glee.

“My vessel _is_ a worthy man. I bet if I let a bit of his consciousness slip through it’d be enough to move the old girl.”

Loki looks unconvinced. He glowers, trying to escape the angel’s arms. The angel doesn’t budge, arms tightening even more around the god.

“Come _on_ ,” Gabriel wiggles his eyebrows, “You know you want to try.”

Loki mulls it over briefly, “Fine, let’s steal my brothers hammer. What’s the plan?”

Gabriel laughs before pulling him close to whisper, “Okay, in the dead of night we steal one of those long boat thingies…”

****

~~O~~

Their plan crumbles.

It’s one thing to steal Mjolnir to cause havoc among the Nine Realms and another to let it fall into enemy hands. It’s not their fault Thrym managed to seize the hammer from their hidden spot on Jotunheim. They blame Mala and Mayhem for _that_ development.

Gabriel grins when he brings up the idea on how to retrieve the weapon. Loki can’t help but laugh uproariously. Once they have a plan in place the trickster’s place bets on when the thunder god will notice his favorite weapon missing. They also have a separate pool on whether or not Thor will agree to marry a Frost Giant. Afterwards, they work on a spell that will work perfectly for their plan.

“No, no! Make it so his skin becomes fairer and softer or else they won’t fall for it.”

“What about the hips? Do they care about wide hips? I mean he’s got pretty nice hips right now and that ass-“

“Please, desist,” Loki shudders, “His beard?”

“Cut it off. We’re not wasting our power on something stupid.”

“Clothes?”

“I doubt your mom would mind a few missing dresses.”

****

~~O~~

Gabriel tries and fails to hold back his snickering. He does his best to cover his laughter with coughs and covers his face to feign dabbing tears from his eyes. When that doesn’t help Loki has to discreetly jab him in the ribs to remind him to be silent.

Loki is able to keep himself in check for most of the journey. However, watching Thor stumble for the hundredth time from the long skirts pooling at his feet cases him to chuckle. He tries not to laugh but seeing a red faced Gabriel beside him really doesn’t help. The cold chill of Jotunheim helps the god focus until Thrym decides to lavish his bride with poetry. After that Gabriel isn’t the only one pretending to cry for the beautiful wedding.

Thor growls most of the time. His eyes narrow at his brother and his brother’s shade. He feels uncomfortable in the itchy wedding finery. He still looks male under the dress and jewels since he was unwilling to test his brother’s potion. He didn’t want to resemble a woman _too_ much. Thor fusses with the veil, unhappy he can’t remove it lest they give away their plan before the ceremony is completed. A thread of anger burns deep alongside another thread of embarrassment. Thor eyes the two Loki’s nearby wondering which one is his real brother. A kick from his left answers his question after he downs several cups in one gulp.

The thunder god scowls at every word Thrym whispers in his direction. They’re words of love and reassurance but it only causes his fury to grow. The thought of Mjolnir is enough to keep his temper in check. He avoids looking into the red eyes and dark marks on blue skin. Thrym smiles mistaking Thor’s silent anger for shyness.

The ceremony is in full swing and leading up to the kiss when Gabriel hears it. The _click-click_ sound of shoes on ice draws Gabriel’s attention. His eyes widen a fraction when he spots Mala at the edges of the gathering. If Mala made an appearance then Mayhem…

  


The sound of Thor’s roaring battle cry has him moving quickly through the crowd. He pulls a drunk Loki away from a group of pretty Jotnar and they stumble through a door of ice and wind. They fall in a heap on Loki’s bed, breathless with laughter.

Loki cackles, “Did you-did you see his face? Thrym’s kiss was a bit too enthusiastic when he realized it was Thor he married. Oh, Norns!”

  


Gabriel grumbles as he shoves Loki’s dress away to better burrow under the covers. He sighs in relief because knowing the chaotic duo, there’s bound to be a lot of destruction. They only managed to come out unscathed do to one of them staying sober.

“Gabe, Gabby, we should-we should get some mead.”

The angel snorts and hunkers down under the soft bedding.

“Go get it yourself you drunk.”


End file.
